Totally Random

As I told before, my classmates are soooo random. Some people are very noisy, some are too quiet, and many more. Lately, I hang out with Nabiilah, Rani, Grace, and Lorens. I always go home with them by public transport (angkot) except Lorens. Her house is not in line with us. 

We laugh and being crazy together! For example, we went to Nabiilah's house last week: actually, we went to Nabiilah's house to do our chemical group-work, but we were too lazy and ended up with playing and took many crazy photos in Nabiilah's room... 

Now try to to recognize which one's me, Nabiilah, Rani, or Grace! If you check my previous posts, you'll easily know the answer (or just easily click our names...)! By the way, all photos taken using Nabiilah's Galaxy Tab 2 10.1 (if I'm not wrong), supported by Camera360 lol.

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"Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness."
-Euripides-

My Wall of Gratitude

I heard about this idea years ago. About a decade really. This is what's called a Wall of Gratitude and it's designed to help you remember and celebrate the goodness that's in your life. (Too often we focus on what we lack.) This is mine. This is 100% how I have it in my journal with corrections only for my chicken-scratch induced misspellings when I wrote these out by hand. I'd like to share them with you.

This list represents some of the people for whom I am truly grateful, but have never felt as if I have had an adequate opportunity to thank properly.  Bear with me because my list is very long. There are a lot of people who have helped me in large and small ways for which I am eternally grateful. There’s a fair chance a lot of people I’m about to list don’t even know how much they have impacted my journey through life.

Alvin and Dorothy McCray for being the best parents and support system ever.
Timothy and LaTanya McCray for being in my corner.
Pastor Thaddeus Eastland for helping me put the pieces of my life back together.
My Facebook Friends for reading my rants when I needed some therapy.
Paul Grohman, John Cruise and Steven Kaufman for teaching me about excelling in business.
Christian Smith and Leroy Nellis for teaching me that excellence comes through teamwork.
Duncan Butler for showing me there was more in me than I could see.
Tipton Ross, Bill Morrow and Eileen Kret for knocking off some of the rough edges off a country boy.
Janice Marshall for expecting a young kid from Texarkana to do something with his life.
Melissa Gray for telling me how great I was even when I knew I wasn't that great.
My daughters (Kennedy, Courtney and Mackenzie) for loving their dad even when their dad wasn't being lovable.

To all of you, THANK YOU!!!

I have more.  Many more.  I probably need to do a second volume.  In fact, I think I'll start on that right away.  More people already come to mind.

Now start your own Wall of Gratitude! Better yet, why not share here somebody for whom you're grateful!? Tag them. Let them know how much you appreciate them. Focus on good things and watch more good things come into your life!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

The Worthlessness of Feeling Worthless

Anybody else ever feel worthless? I'm not talking about being unworthy before God. To be worthless, is quite different. While being unworthy is about our merits, being worthless is about our value. I'm talking about how horribly stagnating feeling worthless (of little or of no value) is as a man or a woman. When someone feels worthless, they feel as if they are insignificant and have nothing valuable to offer the world.

Am I the only one who has ever felt that way? Just me?

That's okay. I'll testify on my own.

First, let's be clear about something.  Nobody can make you feel worthless.  No matter what is said or done to you, only you own that power. Quite honestly, if you think people can make you feel worthless, you're being a victim - and victims never win.

Feeling worthless had been a struggle area of mine for a long time. No one's fault but mine. Sure.  People had words to say intended to tear me down, but I didn't become torn down until I took those words and made them my own.  I allowed feelings of guilt to strip me of my self-worth.  I felt like I "deserved" everything bad that came my way.  (Which is ironic because I hate the word "deserve" normally.  As it turns out, I only hated it when it came to discussing good things.)

What I found is that feeling worthless is a waste of time.  Until you allow yourself to know you're truly worthy, you will reject every blessing that comes. It won't even matter if that blessing literally begs to be a part of your life.  That's what I was doing.  I was rejecting blessings of all kinds... business, ministry, financial, relational.  Whatever.  If it was good, I was rejecting it.  In my mind, I wasn't good enough for it.  That's the enemy's work.  He might not be able to stop the blessings from coming, but he can influence you to reject the gift.  Get me?  I had to learn to start speaking blessings over my life and making positive proclamations about my person and purpose.  Had to.  No choice except to learn how to believe good things about myself or stay in a hole emotionally.

Full confession is that this is still something I battle about every other day or three.  What I've learned to do is use positive affirmations more aggressively and even sing praise and worship songs in the morning.  When that isn't working, I am fortunate to have friends, family and loved ones who'll remind me that I'm talking myself down (again) and they will help me snap out of it.

This is a longer blog than I normally post.  I hope someone is hearing me and makes a commitment to themselves to start speaking God language.  Life and not death.  I even open to having you remind me if you catch me in error.  This is about life so you've got to get it right! I've got to get it right - and I will.  Believe that!  You will get it right, too! I believe in us and the work the Holy Spirit can do as we're yielded to Him.

Keep speaking life.  As I've learned to speak life, I've seen increase in every area in which I've been intentional about my words.  It can feel silly if you're not accustomed to it, but speak life anyway.   Your words work even when it doesn't feel like it.  I'm a witness!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

Who Are You? Call YOU Forth!

I feel like most people have an "inner greatness" just straining to come through to the surface.  I believe that with all my heart and mind.  I think you know it about yourself, too! I feel like I have a simple mission: to remind people of their potential for a greater life and then show them ways to get there.  That's pretty much it and I love it!

So my title to this blog is a little bit of a tease.  I think you've already got an image in your mind of you operating at your highest level! You just need to know how to get there.

Here's a tool you can use.  Like I told you on my Facebook page, I internalized a lot of negative images of myself over the last several years.  Life and some setbacks had robbed me of my confidence and even destroyed my positive self-definitions.  And while I've come a long way, I still work DAILY on reprogramming my mind. I know first hand the pain of limiting self-beliefs and how they can stagnate your life and stifle your purpose. I used to pray every day "Lord, rewire my brain! Help me to think differently!" because I knew I was operating on a level smaller than for what I was designed!

But I know I'm not alone. That's why I am so aggressive about topics such as taking action, visualization and speaking life! You don't have to be limited anymore! You can have God's best for your life and it's going to begin with a step that sometimes feels silly or unnecessary.  You've got to speak it!

You gotta believe it and speak it... it starts there. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.  Everything that you see in yourself, start calling it out!

I am successful!
I am in great shape!
I accomplish my goals!
I am a finisher!
I am a college graduate!

Whatever you see, start speaking it as specifically as you can.  Your words shape your life.  As you learn to speak life over yourself and your future, your actions will begin to line up with your new thoughts and you'll see the world itself begin to open up new pathways for you. Watch what I say! 

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

Trolled

Kapan ya

kali terakhir aku bersajak tentangmu?

Keegoisanku,

amarahku yang kekanak-kanakkan,

ditambah keinginanku yang berlebihan.

Bukan hanya kamu, 

kadangkala akupun benci 

dengan tingkah menyebalkanku ini. 

Bukan hanya kamu, 

akupun muak dengan diri ini

yang seringkali tak tahu diri.

Kamupun pasti lelah ya?

Menghadapi aku yang menyebalkan

pastilah membuatmu makan hati.

Lagi-lagi yang bisa kusampaikan hanyalah sepotong maaf.

Namun maukah kamu menerima maafku

untuk kesekian kalinya?

Walau aku tahu betul

bahwa pastilah ini bukan permintaan maafku yang terakhir, 

aku ingin kamu memaafkanku.

Dan aku ingin kamu tahu:

Seperti apapun menyebalkannya aku terhadapmu,

 bukan berarti aku membencimu.

Seperti apapun marahnya aku padamu,

tidak berarti aku membencimu.

Seperti apapun kamu menyakitiku,

sulit bagiku untuk membencimu.

Cinta ini belum berubah,

masih sama besarnya seperti dulu. 

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Bercandamu tadi itu tidak lucu:

Membuatku menangis karenanya!

Bercandamu tadi itu tidak lucu:

Kukira kamu bersungguh-sungguh!

Bercandamu tadi itu tidak lucu:

Buatlah candaan yang lebih bagus.

Aku takut.

Aku mengkhawatirkan saat dimana candaanmu akan jadi kenyataan.

Aku tidak mau kehilanganmu.

Aku tahu malam ini kamu bercanda.

Tapi kuharap malam ini kamu tidak berbohong.

Aku mencintaimu.

Jangan tertawa kalau kamu membaca ini.

Aku serius, lho! 

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Far Far Away

First of all, I'm gonna say

Happy Eid Mubarak 1434H 

for everybody who celebrates! 

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By the way, how's your holiday, guys? I got two weeks of holiday and already spent a week not in home. I went to my aunt's (mum's older sis) home. Her home is quite big so it's pretty exciting to be there. I also visited the apartment where my dad work; my mum, dad, sis, and I stay there for a night for free! It's more comfortable to stay there than in hotel because it has more rooms and facilities. 

I went to both place only for a while. On August 8, my mum, sis, Pheng-pheng (my cousin), my aunt (mum's younger sis), and I went to Tidung Island by a boat. Tidung Island is a part of Kepulauan Seribu, have you ever hear about it? I haven't until my mum tell me ._.

It takes about 2½ hours until we arrived at the island. Pheng-pheng is my cousin from Hong Kong. She speaks Cantonese, English, and Bahasa. Her Bahasa isn't very good, though. Her Bahasa accent sounds funny and she once wrongly say "rumput" as "rambut". We went to Tidung Island with 14 others by a tour. 

The houses there are rustic, looks like small villages we usually seen in TV. There are lot of homestays and rentals. The rentals would lend us snorkling or diving equipments and bikes. Well, Tidung Island is pretty good for snorkling or diving. I did snorkling, but I wasn't able to take any photos because I didn't bring any cellphone or camera.

The beaches are very clean, it's still blue! Except for some that provided for recreation; it's dirty and the water turned turbid. There's one near the homestay where we stayed, but it's not sandy beach... It's... Um, rocky:

My lil sis.

My lil sis and I.

I didn't lie about the rocky beach, see? And the water is blueeeeeee! I love it that I could see what lies on the bottom of the sea because of the clear water, of course in superficial parts. Also, the wind blows pretty hard there; you won't suffering from the heat even if the sun shines pretty hot. 

The homestay wasn't too cozy. Two of three bathrooms are dark. The floor is dirty that people come in and out so often, and there's not enough floor mat provided. But at least I can survive lol. The conclusion is: wherever I go and wherever I stay, my home is still the best place to live. In my home, I can do whatever I want (in positive way), sleep peacefully, and the floor is clean that I can roll over it. 

On the first day, I biked along the footpath from my homestay to the gate of Jembatan Cinta (The Love Bridge). I'm confused of why the bridge named as Jembatan Cinta, because I don't see anything reflect the name "Jembatan Cinta"... It's only a plain long bridge. Yup, the bridge connects Tidung Island with another island, but I dunno what its name. Btw, it's been a very long time since the last time I rode a bike, I was pretty surprised that I still remember how to ride it lol. And it's fun! I wish I had a bike. My last bike was given to my neighbour because it's too small to me already. 

Next morning, we biked to a sandy beach that's not too crowded (I dunno what's the name of the beach) and took photos there. And that beach is quite far from my homestay. I biked until I'm tired that I almost fall from my bike. 

L to R: My sis, my aunt, me, and Pheng-pheng. Mah God, look at my idiotic face.

That morning, my mum got a new job as a photographer lol. But there's a few photos of her though! The not-fun-part is everytime sand get into your slippers. I know that it's better if I don't use slippers why getting my feet in the water, but I'm afraid I'll step on something sharp and might hurt me. And if you check my slippers now, there's still a few sand inside :|

This one captured by my naughty sis...

This one's my favorite. I love swings.

Before getting back to the homestay, I went to Jembatan Cinta with my mum and sis to take some photos and feel the fresh morning air on the bridge. I also bought a new hat for 30K (okay, I didn't bought it. My mum did).

I loooove it for too much! It matches my jacket: they both are in black and white! :3

We checked out from the homestay and went home at about 10 pm. A thing I often think about while in the Tidung Island is that I was far far away from home. Very far. And when I get back to home, I just realized that I have left my home for a week. My room was pretty dusty and it smells different; you know, it smells like a room that haven't entered for a week. 'kay... I think that's all for today. Ciao! ;3

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If you don't mind, go follow my twitter and instagram, thank you! :3

Introducing the Live Big Die Empty: Peak Personal Performance Group

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Group coaching is a great way to experience professional Life Coaching at a fraction of the cost of individual coaching, through a group setting. Individuals can benefit through sharing, learning from the successes and challenges of other members, forming relationships and experiencing synergy from the group.


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Group Coaching May Be For You If:

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When some people hear people like me talk about discovering their purpose and walking in it, all they get is FRUSTRATED!! They become frustrated because they either don't think they have a special, God-given purpose or they simply don't know how to discover it. I can relate to that. I've been there.

I want you to join me in this group because I want to work with you until you are able to answer for yourself...

• What is my purpose?
• How can I know it for sure?
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Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

"10 Winning Strategies for Improving Your Credit & Personal Finances"

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"Hey, Mark! Just wanted you to know that we just closed on our new home!" - R.A., Houston, TX

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Somebody needs this help!  You can't live a #BIG life when your financial life is in disarray!

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"10 Winning Strategies for Improving Your Credit & Personal Finances" is an educational program that I put together to help you get answers to your questions about how you can improve your credit, borrow money at lower rates, stop getting turned down for purchases and improve your overall financial situation dramatically!

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Need one-on-one help?  E-mail for program information at mark@thecreditscorecoach.com and get an answer within one business day!  And stay connected on Facebook for more cool, helpful personal finance stuff!

Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:

Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!

Hello, August

How's your July guys? 
In July, I got soooo many new experiences, new friends, new class, new teachers, and other new things. I got X MM 1 as my new class. My class is full of narcist ppl and some are truly funny. Everything's new, except for my shoes, backpack, and my bf lol. The school just started and I already got a problem. Some of my classmates talk about me (in negative way) on twitter when they don't even know me well. How rude. Moreover, what they talk about me aren't true! I retweeted their conversations so they'll realize that I know what they did behind me >:( oh well.

I'm getting so lazy to posting here lately because...

• Homeworks. Homeworks are attacking me since I started my VHS. And I was like "WHY GOD WHY" when I know that only my program got chemistry and physics lesson. WHY GOD WHYYYY~
• Social medias. You know; twitter, facebook, line, etc. I'm getting addicted with twitter lately. I want to boost my tweets amount up! And also, line. Someone in my class made a group chat on line titled as our class, X MM 1. That group chat is pretty helpful in reminding me about homeworks, but so noisy! Once I turned off my wifi while I sleep, and turned it on when I wake up, I might find 300++ notifications from that group chat... Now you know how noisy X MM 1 is, don't you? Not only on line, there's one on bbm too. And thankfully God I don't have blackberry smartphone, because my friends who have blackberry smartphone told me that the bbm group is noisier. The notifications even made some of my friend's phone hang :|
• Extracurricular activities. In my school, extracurricular activity started after Lebaran holiday ended. That's mean I'll get busier starting with August 19. I take four extracurricular activities: taekwondo, vocal, wall climbing, and Japanese language. I always wanted to know how to kick or smack or make someone suffer protect myself by using martial arts! And also Japanese language! I learned a little by watching anime, but with a lesson about it I'll getting pro better :3 the rest, well, I chose them just for fun :p

Btw, about new friends, I love them! Yesterday, we went to KFC near our school to hanging out and have some food. We laughed a lot that day! Here some photo of us! :3

Nabilah, me, and Grace.

Nabiilah, me, Grace, Leonardus, Lorens, and Frans.
LOL Frans was srsly talking with someone on his phone and still make a pose! Hilaaaarioussss!

Nabiilah, me, and Lorens.

Nabiilah, me, Grace, Lorens, and Khanti.

I've talked so long, eh? Okay... It's about 11 pm now, sooo... 

Good nite ppl! :3